The Stones I’ve Carried

I am not one for going out with the intention of buying jewelry, but you will never find me without a necklace, earrings, and several rings. When I discover a new piece of jewelry, I will wear it consecutively until it parts from me in some dramatic or romantic fashion. Every piece must be comfortable, no sharp edges that snag, or metals that alter my skin color, nor anything that dually can be used as a weapon amidst my clumsiness. My jewelry needs to be so comfortable that it acts as a forgotten extension of my self and is able to withstand my careless lifestyle. I have been blessed to come across my precious pieces either gifted by loved ones or discovered in a forgotten box in a corner of my grandma’s house. The beauty I find in acquiring such adornments, is in the complexity of significance as the jewel transfers owners, altering its identity slightly as it is passed down from person to person. What may once have represented a love gone sour on one person's finger, may redeem its image and be reborn as a physical memory of a lost dear one. When I find the right items they become a part of my soul and when they are lost, I feel that a part of me is missing.

Among the jewels that accompany me daily, my most important is my opal promise ring. It was gifted to my mother by her father before she left home. She is mistrusting of its intention believing it to have been “promised” to one of his multiple mistresses that he courted during her youth. Even with that she notes that the ring was the only gift he ever gave her and will reprimand me when she fears for the safety of the ring. My grandpa or “Pops” as we all called him was a brave man that explored the world, to the best of his ability. He was a veteran of World War Two and was stationed in Pearl Harbor the day the day of the bombing. He was also an artistic soul who spread his creativity across many mediums. My favorite of which was the old rusted car that sat in the yard in which he had carved portraits of all six of his children. He always spoke the truth even if it was sharply unnerving, but maintained the charisma that could have you both pull away laughing. My mother, a also highly creative individual finds her adventures within her home space. Growing up she was the perfect person to look for whenever activities were limited to the confines of the house. She is an authentic woman who will choose to make anything over purchasing it. Together my mother and grandfather act as my personalized yin and yang in their complimenting differences. She can create worlds from her home space and her traveled around the world to create a home. For me the ring represents both my mother and my grandfather, two very different characters intertwined in the energy that emits my mother's love and ability to create safe and playful spaces and my grandfather's love of adventure and thrill-seeking truth. 

Opal has always been associated with love and passion, as well as desire and eroticism. It is a seductive stone that intensifies emotional states and releases inhibitions. It can also act as an emotional stabilizer. Wearing an opal is said to bring about loyalty and faithfulness. It is the stone associated with the month of October.

Opal is not flashy in its presentation. It does not demand your immediate attention. It has a soft elegance to its design and has the potential to go unnoticed if not appreciated by other admirers of opal. It is one of those stones you don’t notice until you are ready to see it. The stone itself is finished, meaning that it reads more as white than the raw and iridescent unfinished youthful ones. The gold band that supports it looks like two hands meeting to embrace around the stone,  as if the joining of the two creates this ball of energy that marries every color in the spectrum. I have always been a lover of the color white and a friend once remarked how beautiful that was because white is the presence of all colors. Here I have a stone that encompasses so many representations of what I love in one simple piece.  

I have worn the ring for the longest of all my jewels, but recently lost it for a short time. The forlorn feeling that overtook me was overwhelming. All I could do was surrender to the loss and accept it. In the time that it was away, I searched for a replacement online and was successful in learning its name and origin. The ring itself is from the 1960's and was a popularized as promise ring to lovers before their commitment to marriage which may support my mother’s theory about my grandpa. I resisted purchasing the replacement ring feeling that I was betraying my grandpa, my mom, and ultimately the ring itself. Moments after I decided not to replace it I received a call. My ring came back to me as if its departure was a test of my loyalty. I cried such full tears of joy as I discovered its whereabouts while sitting at the beach, that it inspired an intimate conversation with an onlooking couple. In that space where the ring left me for a time, I was able to gain more understanding of its history and its meaningful role in my life. If it had never left me, I never would have fully appreciated what energy it brings to my life.

With this series of writings, I hope to bring you into my personal history and paint an intimate portrait of my mind. We all have items that we carry throughout our lives. I implore as you read to consider paying closer attention to the items you chose to be part of your caravan. What do they represent to you, what do they do to assist you, what do you do to represent them. For there are spiritual reasons why we are attracted to what we are attracted to.

Photo by Austin Bennett 2019